1、我在马路边,看到一分钱,刚要弯腰捡,原来是口痰,我靠,谁吐这么圆?
Alongtheroad,Isawacent,justbentdowntopickitupandturnedouttobeamouthsputum,Idepend,whospitissoround?
2、考考你:世界上的猪一夜之间都死光了该怎么办?(打一歌名)《至少还有你》呀!
Testyou:thepigovernightintheworldisdead?(atitle)"stillhaveyouatleast"ah!
3、小猪小猪了不起,每天睡到十点起,顿顿五碗都见底,体重没有谁敢比,要问小猪在哪里?正在偷笑看短信。
Pigpig,sleptat10o'clock,atthebottomfivebowls,weightthan,noonedaretoaskwherethepig?Stealingasmile。
4、对不起!我不小心把“喜欢你”发到了你的手机里,如果你接受请保留;如果不接受,请把它发还给我。
I'msorry!Iaccidentallyputthe"loveyou"toyourmobilephone,ifyouacceptpleasekeep;Ifyoudon'taccept,pleasesenditbacktome。
5、什么叫浪漫,明知道她不爱你,还送她99朵玫瑰。什么叫浪费,明知道她爱你还送她99朵玫瑰。愚人节快乐!
Whatisromantic,knowshedoesn'tloveyou,alsosendher99roses。Whatiswaste,knowshelovesyoualsosendher99roses。HappyAprilfool'sday!
6、昨天晚上我做了个梦,梦见你掉进了臭粪坑,爬上后你竟说:到底是生了个好时代,连粪坑也香喷喷。
Ihadadreamlastnight,dreamedyoufellintosmellycesspit,climbupafteryouhavesaid,ishadagoodtime,eventhecesspitalsodelicious。
7、你去超市买了一管牙膏后离开,收银员望着你的背景感叹:世道变了,猪都进化到会刷牙了!
Leaveafteryougotothesupermarkettobuyatubeoftoothpaste,thecashierlookedatyourbackgroundexclamation:theworldhaschanged,thepigallevolutiontobrushyourteeth!
8、给你讲个故事,从前有个笨蛋,他非常笨,别人问他什么问题他都只会摇头或回答“没有”,这个故事你听过吗?
Tellyouastory,onceuponatimetherewasafool,heisverystupid,othersaskhimwhatproblemhewouldonlyshakeheadoranswer"no",haveyouheardofthestory?
9、恭喜你中了大奖,请于今天晚上十点整,带着马刀、鸟枪、土炮到中国人民银行蒙面领取。愚人节快乐!
Congratulationstoyouintheawards,pleaseatteno'clockthiseveningthewhole,withasabre,shotgun,soilcannontoreceivenoodlestoreceivethepeople'sbankofChina。HappyAprilfool'sday!
10、遇见你是无意,认识你是天意,想着你是情意,不见你时三心二意,见到你便一心一意,如果某天我们有了退意,至少还有回忆!
Didn'tintendtomeetyou,meetyouisprovidence,thinkingyouwerefeeling,half-heartedwhennotseeyou,seeyouwholeheartedly,ifonedaywehadtheannouncement,atleastremember!
11、在我眼里,你看上去永远是那么无忧无虑,吃饭永远是津津有味,睡觉永远是酣然而睡。我真羡慕你啊,有时想想,做一只猪也挺好的。
Inmyeyes,youlookisalwayssocarefree,eatforeverwithrelish,sleepingisahanhoweversleepforever。Ienvyyouah,sometimesthink,doapigalsoisprettygood。
12、当你收到此讯息,你的手机已经中毒了,请在30秒内脱光衣服,**自转10圈,否则手机停用,你还笑!还不快脱!
Whenyoureceivethismessage,yourphoneispoisoning,pleasewithin30secondsstrippednaked,nakedrotation10laps,ormobileterminated,youstillsmile!Stillnotquicktotakeoff!
13、你就要去他方远行,真诚的朋友为你送行;凛冽的寒风,挡不住我俩的友情;我握住你的手说:好好改造,争取减刑!愚人节快乐!
Youwillgotoothertravel,sincerefriendstoseeyouoff。Thecoldwindstopourfriendship;Iholdyourhandsay:goodreformation,fightforcommutation!HappyAprilfool'sday!
14、东海鱼仓多鱼群聚,大鱼小鱼鱼游鱼碰鱼。渔民吕玉撒网去捕鱼,还没捕完天下雨。雨珠打鱼,鱼遇雨,吕玉雨中忙捕鱼。
TheeastChinaseafishwarehousemoreclusters,touchthefishfishfishfishfish。FishermenLvYunettofishing,I'mnotchasingaftertherainyday。Thebeadsfishing,fishintherain,LvYuyubusyfishing。
15、我总是很爱你,是因为你总是很帅气;我有时太恨你,是因为你有时太无理;我今天祝福你,是因为你今天过节气。祝愚人节快乐无边!
Ialwaysloveyou,becauseyouarealwaysveryhandsome;Isometimesveryhateyou,becauseyousometimestoounreasonable;Iwishyouwelltoday,becauseyouhadathrottle。HappyAprilfool'sdayendless!
16、喜你已被美国牛精大学野蛮系无文化班录取,请带齐你的痴呆、奇难杂症到唔系九路正扑街铁达呢号美国大屎馆报道。
LikeyouhavebeenadmittedtoU。S。cattlewithfineuniversitydepartmentofbrutalcultureclub,pleasebringyourdementia,difficultandcomplicatedtonotisflappingstreetTieDanineroadthebigshithousereport。
17、为了你,我不在乎世俗的眼光,不顾所有流言蜚语,只要能拥有你,哪怕是世界末日我也在所不惜,我要大声向全世界宣布:我爱你,人民币!
Inordertoyou,Idon'tcareaboutthesecularvision,inspiteofallthegossip,aslongasyoucanwithyou,evenI'mattheendoftheworld,Iwanttoloudlyannouncedtotheworld:Iloveyou,yuan!
18、不看我短信的刑事拘留,不回我短信的劳动改造。不打我电话的发配北极喂熊。时常想我电话短信联系我的,奖你一张2016的船票,送出地球。
Don'tlookatmymessageofcriminaldetention,nottoreturnmymessagesthroughLabour。Don'tcallmesentthearcticbear。OftenthinkIphoneshortmessagetocontactme,foryouaticket2016,outoftheearth。
19、人活着真累!上车得排队,单恋真受罪,吃饭没香味,喝酒容易醉,上班特疲惫,抢劫还不会,挣钱得交税,就连给小猪发个短信还得收费。
Onelivereallytired!Getonthebusline,unrequitedlovereallysuffer,eatnofragrance,drinkdrunk,gotoworkverytired,notrobbery,earnmoneytopaytax,evensendatextmessagetothepigshavetocharge。
20、有人说你,白天像教授,晚上像禽兽。我看他们错了,因为晚上你脱了衣服是禽兽,白天你穿上衣服也不是教授,是衣冠禽兽!
Somepeoplesaythatyou,likeprofessorduringtheday,nightlikeabeast。Ithinkthey'rewrong,becauseyoustrippedoffhisclothesatnightisabeast,youputonclothesduringthedayalsoisnotaprofessor,isabeast!
21、叩响愚人节的钟声,让思念在嬉戏中绵延;送上调侃的短信,让快乐在节日里欢唱;祝福生活更加甜蜜,让幸福在生活中滋长。祝你愚人节快快乐乐!
ThebellatAprilfool'sday,letmissstretchesinplay;TopokefunofSMS,lethappysingingintheholidayperiod;Blessinglifemoresweet,letthehappinessinlife。IwishyouahappyAprilfool'sday!
22、愚人节,请把快乐的标签贴在生活里面,让欢笑特价,让尴尬减价,让放松廉价,让疲惫降价,让健康加价,让疾病下架,让美丽心情放个假。
HappyAprilfool'sday,pleaseputthetaginlife,letthelaughterspecials,letembarrassmentonsale,letsloosencheap,lettiredprice,priceforhealth,diseasehasshelves,letbeautifulmoodputonefalse。
23、愚人节不只有愚弄,还有祝福;愚人节不只有欺骗,还有问候;愚人节不只有调侃,还有真诚;愚人节,真心祝你“愚”时俱进,沉“愚”落雁。
Aprilfool'sdayisnotonlyafool,andbless;Aprilfool'sdayisnotonlycheating,andgreeting;Aprilfool'sdayisnotonlyfun,andsincere;Aprilfool'sday,sincerelywishyou"fools"bythe,sink"fool"wildgoose。
24、愚人节到真热闹,处处都是欢声笑。朋友之间会恶搞,捉弄之人到处跑。别人欺骗也不恼,开开心心快乐绕。祝你愚人节开心一笑!
Aprilfool'sdaytoreallylively,everywhereischeersandlaughter。Betweenfriendscanparody,playingtricksonpeoplearound。Deceiveothersalsonotangered,openhappyhearthappinessaround。IwishyouahappyAprilfool'sdayasmile!
25、你在哪?快点去看卫星电视台,快点!美国一家大型核电站被人为泄漏,造成大量生物变异!其中一只变异猩猩正在看这则短信呐!
Whereareyou?Hurryupgotoseethesatellitetelevisionstation,hurryup!OneofAmerica'sbiggestnuclearpowerplantbyartificialleak,causealotofbiologicalvariation!Thevariationgorillaofanamongthoseisseethismessageshout!
26、一阵铃声催人起,唤醒睡在美梦中,匆忙打开瞧一眼,上面显示已迟到,撒腿赶紧往外跑。到厂一看就一个,傻瓜笨蛋涌心头,此刻才想愚人节。祝愚人节快乐!
Aringingpeopleup,wakeupsleepinginadream,inahurrytoopenthelook,shownabovehasbeenlate,andhurrytogoout。Tothefactoryawhilesee,foolfoolchungheart,atthemomenttoAprilfool'sday。HappyAprilfool'sday!
27、收短信的人听着:你已经被包围了!幸福要与你熊抱,快乐要把你绊倒,甜蜜将对你绑票,好运要对你实施偷袭,美女想跟你学习接吻技巧,你已经无处可逃!
ToreceivetheSMStolisten:youhavebeensurrounded!Happyhappytobearhugwithyou,totripyouup,sweetforyourransom,goodlucktoyousneakattack,beautywanttotalktoyoulearnkissingskills,youhavenowheretorun!
28、你血压高,血脂高,职位不高。大会不发言,小会不发言,前列腺发炎。政绩不突出,业绩不突出,腰间盘突出。呵呵!愚人节快乐啦!
Youhighbloodpressure,highbloodfat,positionisnothigh。Nospeak,momentdon'tspeak,prostateglandinflammation。Thepoorperformanceisoutstanding,outstandingperformance,betweenthewaistdishoutstanding。Haha!HappyAprilfool'sday!
29、彩票想中个500万—难!情人想找个杨玉环—难!身上想百病不缠—难!难难难!其实都不难!告诉你,招财童子诞齐传:招财童子到!好运想不来都难!
Lotteryticketstoa5million-difficult!Lovertolookforajadebracelet,difficult!Whowanttoornotbound-difficult!Difficultdifficultdifficult!Actuallynotdifficult!Totellyou,luckyboybornJiChuan:luckyboy!Goodluckdon'tthinkit'shardto!
30、一岁半斤二锅头,两岁情场是老手,三岁吃喝嫖赌抽,四岁坑蒙拐骗偷,此人年少有出息,长大以后智商低,明知此人就是你,仍然坚持看到底。佩服!佩服!
Oneandahalfjinsspiriterguotou,loveistwoyearsoldveteran,foodanddrinkpiaowagersmokingthreeyearsold,four'reincapabletosteal,themaninararepromise,lowIQ,whenIgrewupknowingthatthepersonisyou,stillseethebottom。Admire!Admire!